Play Ball!
by Sir Miles
Summary: FFVII X FFFX Cloud gets another one of his crazy ideas... and this time, the outcome could be pretty painful! What will happen when the heroes of FFVII have three days to learn to play Blitzball?
1. Day One

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Final Fantasy characters. However, I do own the grassy hill mentioned in the first paragraph. It's up for sale, if anybody wants it. Thank you.  
  
DAY ONE  
  
It is a warm, sunny day. Aeris, Tifa, Yuffie, Red XIII, Barret, Cid, Vincent, and Cait Sith are relaxing peacefully on a grassy hill, after enjoying a picnic lunch. Cloud is nowhere to be found.  
  
Yuffie: Hey guys, do you think we spend too much time together? I mean, we always do everything together. Don't you think we should, you know, see other people?  
  
Barret: Naw. Being with you guys has spoiled me for any other company.  
  
Cait Sith: Besides, Cloud has money. If we stick around him, we can get lost of stuff for free.  
  
Aeris: Yes!!  
  
At that moment, Cloud comes walking up the hill, with a big smile on his face.  
  
Cloud: Hey guys! Guess what?  
  
Cid: Uh oh. That smile usually means trouble.  
  
Tifa: What is it, Cloud?  
  
Cloud: (beaming at Tifa) You won't guess what I just signed us up for!  
  
Cid: (groans loudly)  
  
Cait Sith: What, Cloud?  
  
Cloud: Nope! You have to guess.  
  
Cid: Don't' tell me...another mission to save the world?  
  
Cloud: Nope! Guess again!  
  
Red XIII: A survey about styles of clothes?  
  
Cloud: Nope! Guess again!  
  
Cait Sith: A movie contract?  
  
Cloud: Nope! Guess again!  
  
Tifa: A game show?  
  
Cloud: Nope! Guess again!  
  
Aeris: An exotic weapons display?  
  
Cloud: Nope! Guess again!  
  
Barret: The Olympics?  
  
Cloud: Nope! Guess—  
  
Cid: Shut up with the guessing thing!  
  
Vincent: ...a monster truck rally?  
  
Cloud: Nope! Gue—(quiets at a threatening gesture from Cid)  
  
Yuffie: I know! A materia contest!  
  
Cloud: ...nope!  
  
Cid: Well, what is it, then?  
  
Cloud smiles and motions them all to sit and get comfortable.  
  
Cloud: This may take a while to explain...  
  
Cid: Holy help us!  
  
Cloud: (shoots a glare at Cid) ...Well, I was out and about here and there, you know, just minding my own business, not really doing anything at all, having no errands to run or anything, simply—  
  
Tifa, Aeris, Yuffie: Get on with it!!  
  
Cloud: ...um, yes...Well, like I said, I was just wandering around, and I came across some recruiters.  
  
Red XIII: Recruiters for what?  
  
Cloud: For a game. A really cool game! It's kind of like...basketball...but not. Or maybe it's more like soccer? ...no...how about cricket? Or...baseball? No, that's not it, either.  
  
Barret: Just tell us what it is already!  
  
Cloud: Well...it's called...Blitzball!  
  
Vincent: ....?  
  
Red XIII: ....?  
  
Tifa: ....?  
  
Cait Sith: ....?  
  
Yuffie: ....?  
  
Barret: ....?  
  
Aeris: ....?  
  
Cid: ...I think I'm gonna be sick!  
  
Vincent: ... ... ... Cloud: C'mon, guys! It'll be lots of fun! I hired a trainer, too. And don't worry – the tournament isn't for three more days, so we've got plenty of time to prepare!  
  
Tifa: Three...days? And we're supposed to become great players in three days?  
  
Aeris: Holy help us, indeed.  
  
Cloud: Well, we begin tomorrow at sunrise. Don't be late! And I forgot to mention it. The sport is played underwater!  
  
Barret, Red XIII, Cait Sith: Oh, great! 


	2. Day Two

DAY TWO  
  
The next morning, the novice players arrive at the training sphere. Cloud leaves to check a few things, and the rest of the gang is left to observe others who are practicing. A giant, monstrous beast with a long horn tackles a small man in a green suit. The small man is rendered unconscious, and has to be carried out of the sphere. The gang stares, mouths agape.  
  
Yuffie: That looked like it hurt.  
  
Vincent: ....(nods) The gate to tomorrow is not the light of heaven, but the darkness of the depths of the sphere.  
  
????: Man, y'all are reel downers, ya know?  
  
The group turns to find a strange figure watching them. He appears to be a Blitzball player, with a tan uniform, and an official Blitzball tucked under one arm. The strangest thing about him (besides the accent) is his hair, which sticks up above his forehead.  
  
Cait Sith: (whispered to Tifa) Wow! His hair sticks up farther than Cloud's does!  
  
Tifa: (returned whisper) Well, at least it looks like he wanted it to be that way!  
  
????: (from a short distance away, a voice calls out) Hey, Wakka! Where are you?  
  
The Blitzball player, who is obviously this 'Wakka' character, turns as another figure comes running up.  
  
????: Oh, good! You must be the new team members that Cloud was telling me about! Nice to meet you! This is my good friend, Wakka (greetings are exchanged) ...and I am Tidus.  
  
There is silence.  
  
Tidus: You know...Tidus.  
  
There is more silence...and a little blinking.  
  
Tidus: You mean...you haven't heard of me?  
  
Tifa: I'm sorry...should we have?  
  
Tidus: (a little shocked) Should you? Of course you should have! I am the star player of the Zanarkand Abes, after all!  
  
Cait Sith: Um, I hope you don't mind my asking, but who are the Zanarkand Abes?  
  
Tidus stares in horror.  
  
Wakka: Uh oh.  
  
It is now a little later, and the initial confusion has been somewhat resolved. Wakka has explained the basics of the game to the novice team, and they are ready to play ball.  
  
Tidus: Okay. As you know, the team only has six active players at a time. Who's going to go first?  
  
Red XIII: If you don't mind, I think I will sit this one out. I am not a very good swimmer.  
  
Cait Sith: Good idea, Red. I think I'll just watch, too.  
  
Barret: How am I supposed to play with my gun? I can't get it wet! I'll watch.  
  
Cid: Chicken.  
  
Cloud: Well, that leaves the rest of us as the team, right? Aeris, Tifa, Yuffie, Cid, Vincent, and me, Cloud. That's six. Just perfect!  
  
Vincent: ... ... ...  
  
Tidus: Alright, let's get started. First we... (scene erupts in a bustle of activity)  
  
While Tidus teaches the gang everything he knows about Blitzball, Cait Sith is on the sidelines, talking to Wakka.  
  
Cait Sith: So, what do you do when you aren't playing Blitzball?  
  
Wakka: I am one of Lady Summoner Yuna's Guardians.  
  
Cait Sith: Guardian? Really?  
  
Wakka: (nods)  
  
Cait Sith: That's really cool, because that's what we do too! Well, we're not guardians, really. We're more like...babysitters. For Cloud. He gets into a lot of trouble if we leave him alone. So does everyone else, for that matter. I am the only one with any sense in the group. Cloud is impetuous. He uses his sword before his brain. And Barret is the same way. Yuffie is a thief. Tifa never speaks up for herself. Aeris is a flirt. Cid has no people skills. Red...well...Red is...well...no one really knows what Red is. And Vincent...he's kind of pessimistic, isn't he?  
  
Wakka: Mmm...  
  
Cait Sith: So, how about you? What do you and your friends do all the time? We mostly just hang around, not doing much, really. Except when Cloud gets one of his crazy ideas. Like this Blitzball tournament. I mean, none of us had even heart of Blitzball before yesterday. And we are supposed to become great players in two days? Cloud's gotten in a little over his head, if you ask me. But, if he wants to spend his money on crazy ideas like this, I say let him. What do you think?  
  
Wakka: Mmm...  
  
Cait Sith: Exactly! Sometimes I wonder if Cloud has any sense at all! But enough about us. What about you? Do you have a family? Where do you live? How long have you been playing Blitzball? It's probably been a long time, seeing how well you carry that official gall. By the way, where can I get one? They look pretty cool. And I don't think Cloud would mind if I spent just a little of his money on one. They really are a collector's item!  
  
Wakka: Mmm...  
  
Cait Sith: There was this one time, when I borrowed all of Cloud's money, and lost most of it at a casino. Boy, was he angry! I think he has something against being poor. Which is odd, because we are poor most of the time, anyway. Although, our materia is worth a lot. One time, Yuffie stole all of our material. That's why I called her a thief. And Cloud was so mad you wouldn't believe it! We chased her around town for hours, and when we found her, he was fuming! I laughed so hard, I fell over!  
  
Wakka: Mmm...  
  
Cait Sith: And then there was the time that Tifa told a joke, and Aeris laughed so hard that milk bubbles came out of her nose, and Cid spilled his tea all over Vincent, and... (continues on, endlessly)  
  
Wakka: (muttered, to himself) Man, I'm reel glad Lulu's weapons don't talk so much!  
  
As Cait Sith continues to talk Wakka's ears off, Tidus is still instructing the team.  
  
Tidus: (exasperated, at the end of his patience) No, Cloud. For the last time, you cannot take your sword into the sphere!  
  
Cloud: But I always take it everywhere with me!  
  
Tidus: (as if speaking to a little child) No!! (turns to Vincent) Now, Vincent, you are going to be the goalie, correct?  
  
Vincent: ....the gate to tomorrow is not the light of heaven, but the darkness of the depths of the sphere. Tidus: That's nice. The goalie stays here. His job is to keep the other team from scoring, got it? Simple rules, similar to soccer. Clear?  
  
Vincent: ....the gate to tomorrow is not the light of heaven, but the darkness of the depths of the sphere.  
  
Tidus: Um, yes. Now, if you catch the ball, you throw it back in to one of your teammates.  
  
Vincent: ....the gate to tomorrow is not the light of heaven, but the darkness of the depths of the sphere.  
  
Tidus: ...right. Moving on...are you even listening to me?  
  
Vincent: ....the gate to tomorrow is not the light of heaven, but the darkness—  
  
Tidus: I GET IT ALREADY!! Enough with the darkness thing! And you! (turns to Cloud, who is trying to sneak away with his sword still strapped on) NO SWORD IN THE SPHERE!!  
  
Barret: (from the stands) C'mon, Cloud. Just try! I'd like to see what he could do to you!  
  
Vincent: ....the path to tomorrow—  
  
Yuffie: Forget about tomorrow. I don't even think we'll make it through today.  
  
Aeris: (begins to pray) 


End file.
